december in jp

battle with devil kitten

franklin has some problems with aggression.

last christmas

i gave you my heart, but the very next day you gave it away.

the sound of the unlocking and the lift away

last night, from a little dark corner in the back of the theater i watched bon iver cover the outfield. amazing. it's right up there with metric's cover of between the bars. speaking of which, justin vernon and emily haines would make some godlike offspring. they should definitely have sex.



a perfect little night. perfect set, one perfect cover, perfect room and perfect corner. it made me feel settled and basic, and i left wanting to come to some sort of conclusion. i'm still not sure what exactly i was inclined to conclude, but it was satisfying enough just to feel the urge.

this band is serious.

looks like light and love, neither of which i get enough of

question: when did nada surf become a guilty pleasure? because you know what, they're so great and i totally don't feel guilty about loving them. they love me back! they're reliable in that sense, and sometimes that's all a girl needs. matthew caws looked deeply into my eyes on tuesday when he sang, "baby, i just want to make you happy," i swear. and he does! they all do, the whole band. even the bass player who managed to puff a cigarette throughout the entire set, even while singing back-up vocals (talent).

did you get my phone call? i intentionally called you during 'happy kid' and not the incredible, heart-wrenching acoustic performance of 'blizzard of '77' (you would have died). my reasoning for this made perfect sense after a few vodka-sodas. it still makes sense, actually. god i'm brilliant.



also, i bought a t-shirt! it has an unzipped heart on the front. perfection.

their floor is our ceiling,

sneaky architects.

it's that time of year...

for the MARTINI THANKSGIVING EXTRAVAGANZA!

it's so hard to believe that it was seven (!) years ago, my freshman year at lehigh, that i was first invited to the martini household for thanksgiving. i remember sitting down to dinner and telling jeff and dianne the story of how in high school, some crazy montanan cut off the head of a deer i'd hit with my car. they immediately took me in as one of their own, quickly concluding that i was quirky enough to mesh with their mildly dysfunctional but loving family. thank god they did. it has now been seven years, and i look forward to thanksgiving every november. not only do i get to spend some quality dork-time with my bff (see below, on the right), but i get to feel like i'm home (away from home...) for a few relaxing days. i love it. and i love the martini fam.

i took these photos last year. kiffy (see left), n's little bro, doesn't seem to understand that we're getting married (sorry sarah). it's really the easiest way for me to officially become part of the family.






so as i make the long, bumper-to-bumper journey down to nj (bolt bus, free wifi...yeahh), i've been reflecting on this past year and all the things that i feel thankful for, you know, since it's the time of thanks and everything.

here is the list i've constructed. each statement is meant to be directed toward a special person in my life. to spice things up a bit, try and guess which one(s) is/are for you!!!

• thank you for taking me into your home, seven years in a row, and treating me as part of your family. you're amazing.
  
• thank you for putting up with my kitten even though he bites you. he'll grow out of it, i promise.
  
• thank you for making the trip from new york to boston just to see me.
  
• thank you for constantly reminding me about my neuropsych testing appointments because i have a terrible habit of forgetting to write things down.
  
• thank you for meeting me in vegas and being my beautiful, life-long blood sisters.
  
• thank you for pouring me stellas and entertaining my flirtations even though you're married. i really like your tattoos.
  
• thank you for being possibly the coolest person i know and rocking the half-marathon with me in style.
  
• thank you for loving my boot-dance, even though you tell me you hate it. i know you're secretly jealous of my moves.
  
• thank you for rescuing me after my bike crash, and for spending hours with me in the ER. i won't forget it.
  
• thank you for not judging me. we both know you probably should.
  
• thank you for fixing my bike even though i punched you in the face.
  
• thank you for flying all the way across the country just to come to my birthday party.
  
• thank you for paying my cell phone bill.
  
• thank you for coming to boston, smoking hookah with me, and reminiscing about our grandmother.
  
• thank you for letting me get us into trouble every time we go to the enormous room. you know how much i love trouble...
  
• thank you for that earth-shattering, toe-curling orgasm.
  
• thank you for never letting me win when we play darts. i know you know i like the challenge, despite how much i pout when i lose.
  
• thank you for the shots of jameson.
  
• thank you for understanding that i become a different person when i drink whiskey. thank you for also understanding that this person is aggressive and somewhat destructive.
  
• thank you for the dirty text messages.
  
• thank you for your love, the kind you clean up with a mop and bucket.
  
• thank you for editing my poetry without making fun of me.
  
• thank you for helping me see things like you do. thank you for inspiring me to write.
  
• thank you for being in boston. you made me love this city again.
  
• thank you for believing in me, encouraging me, and making me think that i actually may be able to swing this grad school thing.
  
  ...and of course
• thank you for reading my blog! it has been fun for me, i hope you're enjoying it. :)
  
  
  happy thanksgiving!
  xo

personal statement, version #792, 'somehow life goes on in a place so insane'

upon my first listening of the song 'whiskey bottle' by uncle tupelo, i knew i was meant to be a psychologist. i feel the lyrics perfectly capture the crux of my psychological existence.


uncle tupelo - whiskey bottle

persuaded, paraded, enebriated, and down
still aware of everything life carries on without
cause there's one too many faces with dollar sign smiles
got to find the shortest path to the bar... for a while

a long way from happiness
in a three-hour-away town
whiskey bottle over jesus
not forever, just for now
not forever, just for now

there's a trouble around, it's never far away
the same trouble's been around for a life and a day
i can't forget the sound, 'cause it's here to stay
the sound of people chasing money and money getting away

a long way from happiness
in a three-hour-away town
whiskey bottle over jesus
not forever, just for now
not forever, just for now

in between the dirt and disgust there must be
some air to breathe and something to believe
liquor and guns the sign says quite plain
somehow life goes on in a place so insane

a long way from happiness
in a three-hour-away town
whiskey bottle over jesus
not forever, just for now
not forever, just for now...

personal statement, version #387: the essence of psychology

there's a room with a picture on the wall of the room with a picture on the wall of the room with a picture on the wall of the room with a picture on the wall of the room with a picture on the wall of the room with a picture on the wall of the room with a picture on the wall of the room with a picture on the wall of the room with a picture on the wall of the room with a picture on the wall of the room with a picture on the wall of the room with a picture on the wall of the room with a picture on the wall of the room with a picture on the wall of the room with a picture on the wall of the room with a picture on the wall of the room with a picture on the wall of the room with a picture on the wall of the room with a picture on the wall of the room with a picture on the wall of the room with a picture on the wall of the room with a picture on the wall of the room with a picture on the wall of the room with a picture on the wall of the room with a picture on the wall of the room with a picture on the wall of the room with a picture on the wall...............

a failure to maintain a desired pace

there has been a lag, i know.

i've been desperately and furiously attempting to write my personal statement for my graduate school applications.

and this really means a lot to me. grad school, psychology, research, a career...you know. sometimes it feels like it means everything.